OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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