I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
