I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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