I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize