She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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