the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
