So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
