so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
