Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
