Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.

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(716): View more from New York

She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor

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(303): View more from Colorado

I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister

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(847): View more from Illinois

You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

I'm all about the fuck

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