it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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