what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
