The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
