69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
