would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
