im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize