4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
