I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
