he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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