Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
