Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
