I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
