well you can't waste a boner
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
