if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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