No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
