i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize