can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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