I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
