K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
COCAINE IS GR8
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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