some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
