This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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