Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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