so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
