Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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