you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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