YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
