dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
