She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
