She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
