i think my tv is drunk
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
