We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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