Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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