just tell him i said nine months
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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