awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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