she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
