I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
