I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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