I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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