I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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