Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
