I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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