Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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