Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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