He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
