they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
