you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize