I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Randomize
