his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
