I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
