so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize