Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
