dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
